Open Warfare: Aggressive Conflict

On one side of the Relationship Conflict Scale is aggressive behavior. If two partners are on this side of the scale, they have little or no filters on what they express.

The conflict could be open warfare with:

  • mean and at times abusive comments
  • blaming and putdowns
  • name-calling
  • criticisms
  • swearing
  • power-trips, controlling and manipulative behavior
  • threats of divorce or ending the relationship, etc…

Fights can be loud, scary and out of control. You blame others for your anger. The risk of physical fights, violence and abuse can increase with this style of fighting.

Partners that become openly angry and rage at each other must learn to calm their anger and talk so their partner will listen. If two partners are in this place, taking a time out to cool down so they may return and actually talk, be heard and validated is what most people want in a relationship. Continuing to manage feelings that are triggered so as to reduce power plays and struggles is an ongoing goal for these partners and couples.

The tools and skills in my book Taking Space will teach you how to stop, reduce and manage your anger and conflict so you can begin to bring some peace to your relationship. This is a basic skill that is necessary if you want to improve communication in your relationship.

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Read Bob's comments on: How To Tell if You Should Get Back Together with an Ex in Women's Health online magazine 5/20/14

Book review from

5.0 out of 5 stars best book I have read in a long time, very thorough.

- Hannah Latta

This review is from: Taking Space: How To Use Separation To Explore The Future Of Your Relationship (Kindle Edition)

"This book is by far the best book I have read on the subject of separation. The author is extremely thorough in describing various scenarios of different couples, their conflict, type of separation, process of resolution or dissolution. It touches on how to talk to the children, goals during separation, how long to separate, and what kind of separation to use for different cases. I appreciate the depth and length the author went in sharing his experience in this book to help others."