Separation Advice
Is Your Relationship Neglected?
Does It Need a Charge? Will a Jump Start Help?
The Neglected Relationship
Sue started her first couples therapy session by telling the therapist that she and Jim have lived like roommates for many months. Except for taking care… Continue reading
Is Your Marriage (Relationship) in a War Zone? Your style of fighting will tell you!
I can yell louder than you!
John and Sue each held the remote that could trigger each other’s anger in a heartbeat. Their fights were sometimes about serious issues like parenting their children or how to budget their money, but… Continue reading
You Can’t Do Anything Right! Aggressive-Passive Conflict
Tom knew that Maria always had a temper. For the first year of their relationship, Tom seemed to be able to stay on her good side. He would listen to Maria talk about how everyone else was wrong or stupid… Continue reading
We never fight! But we never talk! Passive conflict and communication
Jim and Mary sat in their first counseling session and proudly announced that they “never fight.” The counselor asked them why they decided they needed counseling and what they wanted from it. Mary went on to say, “We feel like… Continue reading
Conflict: A Bridge to Intimacy
How do you turn conflict into an opportunity for growth, development and intimacy?
In my experience, most couples enter couples therapy with the complaint, “we don’t communicate!” Underneath communication difficulties is usually conflict.
Couples that fight aggressively will often… Continue reading
Before You Throw in the Towel to Your Relationship – Read This!
One of the biggest mistakes individuals make is deciding to break up without first understanding their real goals and purposes of why their relationships are not working for them. One of the most common complaints I hear from an individual… Continue reading
In-house Separations can be least destructive to children and easier on finances!
In-house separations can be especially attractive for both financial reasons and can be least disruptive to children. Parents can continue to be available to their children daily while they figure out what they are going to do with their relationship.… Continue reading
Is Marriage Possible After Separation?
A common assumption is that separation always leads to divorce.
This is a myth!
I believe that with some hard work on the part of couples that this does not always have to be the case. I have… Continue reading
Four Common Mistakes Couples Make During Separation
1. Failure to set goals – Often couples do not focus on what they want to accomplish during a period of separation. Individual and relationship goals are not established. Without clear goals and shared responsibility, partners return to their relationship… Continue reading
“We tried a separation and it didn’t work!”
Physical separations alone will not necessarily change old patterns!
Jane is in a new marriage. Jane’s last husband had affairs and eventually left her. Jane has what I call “a large scar on her heart” from being left. She also… Continue reading