What does communication and strokes have to do with relationship separations?

Some partners may be thinking they have a good relationship, but just need to do more regarding communication, strokes and more intimate experience.  While others may be thinking all they do is fight and exchange negative strokes.  Still others may realize they live in an emotionally barren desert with silence, isolation and distance from a partner.

Can these patterns be changed?  Absolutely!  It depends on whether one wants to put energy into changing a pattern that has been created.  Most of the time, people separate emotionally and physically when what they expect in a relationship is not happening and their efforts, if any, have failed to change the pattern. After time, these partners and couples start to give up, hardened walls build, positive communication and strokes decline.  If not addressed, these are the conditions that can lead to the end of a relationship, even if they still stay together.

Couples may seek help at any time when their relationship is in trouble and not working for them.  Even when a partner(s) are at a point where she has little or no trust that her relationship can improve, it is important to at least begin to look at what is not working.  Counseling is based on beginning to learn to manage conflict and start to talk about and understand what’s happening.  For more info on managing your separation and improving your relationship go to www.takingspace.com